Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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