dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
