people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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