I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
