i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
