my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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