Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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