Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
