he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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