I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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