everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
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He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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