You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
