Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
