8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
