Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
