3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
