how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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