Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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