im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize