you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
