there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
