you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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