i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
