They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
