Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
