During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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