I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's shark week go big or go home
Dicks are not precious.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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