just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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