Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
