remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
