Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
