shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This show inspires me to have sex in space
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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