If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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