Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize