You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
