Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm so fucking centered right now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
