I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
