he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am one with the molecules
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
