wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize