He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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