once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize