the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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