Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
