Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
