It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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