If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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