that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
