I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
