she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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