I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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