If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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