I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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