Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So. Much. Porn.
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