Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
