Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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