if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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