I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize