i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
