can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
