the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
