We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize