just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
